Maryann was nice enough to point out that it was three weeks since I said I would be back soon. Time flies when you’re having fun. :) Plus, I truly did not realize it had been that long.
What the hell have I been doing? Certainly not getting drunk and calling cops Jews (especially when they are ) then blaming them for the little tiff’s going on around the world. More on that later.
Basically I stopped to smell the roses, whilst I was there, I hacked them down with a chainsaw replanted and watched them grow again. All in all, I have been writing my own stuff and spending as much time as possible with my kids and my long suffering wife. 10 years next month to be exact. As the old saying goes when your own your deathbed, you wont be wishing that you did one more blog entry, but missing out on helping your two year old climb around a tree, letterbox and retaining wall for about two hours is something that is unmissable( I know I made that word up, but it was worth it, trust me).
I have been giving my wife as much time to herself as possible, she is even away for a couple of nights at one of those spa resorty type places, where they shove mud into various orifices and shout “your cured!!!” I may be simplifying that process somewhat.
During the day I spend time with child number 2, or as we affectionately call him, devil spawn #2. Child number 1 is at school during the week so my wife and I have been spending time together as well, chatting, planning, romancing etc. When child number 2 goes down for midday nap, I have even been giving the old nudge nudge wink wink, “what you doing for the next 5.45 minutes?”. I know the wife was getting a bit over it, but I do think the restraining order was going a bit far.
Caught up on heaps of movies. By far, Walk the Line is the best I have seen in a while, looking forward to Inside Man as well. Security Dog reckons it is very good. For Rom Coms, found a nice little sleeper that I missed, Just Like Heaven with Reese W and Mark Ruffy the Dog. Great little movie, predictable to a point, but it's a fun ride. Best waste of time game I have played, Spiderman 2, what a hoot!!!!!!!!!!! If you liked Spidey as a kid and always wanted to swing around the place and climb around, pure heaven.
Writing’s been lots of fun, even took myself down the Gold Coast for a few days jut to write. Fantastic time by myself. Did not drink much, just wrote, ate and slept, with a fantastic view over Broadbeach from the 13th floor. If you want inspiration, vertigo and the 13th floor are a great incentive. New opening scene, new ending( I suddenly realized they would not get out of there without virtually the entire Iranian army descending on them, but you get that). Like I said, lots of fun. Came up with two more ideas that I actually like, well three if you include the one about Jessica Alba. One is a low-budget horror, one is cop/thriller, sort of a Death Wish meets Collateral type script, Jessica Alba is just Jessica Alba.
I have been thinking about the whole Mel Gibson drama, and I really think he is just simply misunderstood. As he was bought up in Australia (by American parents, let’s point THAT out :) remember, Australian's only claim someone when they are doing good things ) I think I should try and provide some insight that I think frankly has been missed by the tabloids and every other media outlet on earth. Lucky I’m here really.
Lets look at this rationally, and take the major points of the incident, bit by bit.
He got drunk. Okay, recovering alcoholic. Here in Australia we call them politicians and let them run the country. So what. He is only in charge of one movie and 16 kids at home when his wife has mild breakdown’s over that fact. How hard can it be to call 16 nannies? Would not be so much Dial n Angel as Dial n Drill Sergeant.
He drove drunk. He is a huge supporter of the LAPD, he was obviously testing them. Hasn’t anyone heard of quality control?
The Jewish slurs are the easiest part of the whole shenanigans to work out. He has obviously discovered late in life that he is indeed a method actor, and in his training to become an Australian parliamentarian he obviously had flashbacks to when he worked on Conspiracy Theory, and kablam…..international incident. How bloody easy was that to work out? He probably wasn’t even saying Jew? He was drunk and was asking if he was Juuuu (lia Roberts), his co-star on Conspiracy Theory. Two things, when you are drunk, you can’t speak properly, and here in Oz, we love to shorten words like you would not believe. Does it get any easier to work out?
Then there is the bit about the real truth coming out when you are drunk, that you would not say anything you did not truly believe. Hands up how many people have woken up next to someone and uttered those immortal words…. “oh shit”. Waking up next to my uni lecturer certainly had me doing that, and boy did it INCREASE the hangover I had. It helped a little that she was only 25 and blonde, but it did not hurt as much as when I only received a pass for the course! Couple of months prior to the grades coming out, I was scoring high distinctions, but I think the whole Fatal Attraction thing that came out of the closet after a little while may have contributed to the pass only mark, her not me, I was the one running for cover.
Next on the agenda is Sugar Tits, my favourite actually. My god people, he is just showing his imagination! Have you never heard of Sweet Cheeks. That was sooooooooooooooo 1995. Sugar Tits is soooo 21st Century!!! You want your screenplays cliché free? Take a lesson, Sugar Tits for everyone!!! Besides, being drunk, his sugar would be out of balance, he may be diabetic, who knows? Is it a conspiracy? Maybe the officers last name is Tits, and he wanted to say I need some sugar, Officer Tits, when in fact, due to writing, well okay. working with lots of screenplays and knowing the value of every word, he simply reduced it down to Sugar, Tits. The media has just left out the comma, and the man, who only wanted a candy bar to arrest a serious medical ailment is being crucified for it! How about a little open mindedness?
Okay, he is a guilty as sin, but it was fun to look at it from the antag’s side for a little while :)
What else, back to the real world. Some hotel chain was actually silly enough to hire me to be the Field Support Manager for Queensland and northern NSW(one and a bit states) so I have to travel around to the 55 or so hotels and help, assist, audit, etc etc (get drunk at bar) a couple of times each year. So as of 21st of August I am due to lose the rank of unemployed bum (parasite on the globalization of greed that is occurring) and once again become a member of society and a split pin in the cog of the economy.
I only have one thing to say to that.
Bastards!
So that’s me, what about you guys?
Cheers
Dave.
