As we all know, first drafts of anything are shit, someone famous said that, may have been Hemmingway, may have been Haliburton talking about contracts to Iraq, not sure.
You may have seen the trouble that has been stirred up in the UK, Canada and the US about the latest tourism ad from Australia. Basically, the trouble is over the last line spoken by a beautiful girl in a bikini, "so, where the bloody hell are you". Why anyone is actually listening to her is beyond me, but I digress.
Well, if you want to see what the first draft looked like, click here. I think you'll agree the second draft was much better.
Edited to add: If you haven't found this already, go now and download it. Recording of time in the writers room for Battlestar Galactica.......big shout out thank you to Michael at http://redrighthand.net/ for this one. He comes up with some great finds.