ummmmm, some updates, maybe a giggle, could be naked pictures of Jessica Alba.....

Well, that heading should have the whacko's pouring through the doors....

Just to keep things same as, been busy :)

Now up to about 24000km’s in the car and was able to fly the wife and daughter to Cairns for Easter with the frequent flyer miles, so some perks :)

Been getting into a decent swing with the writing again which is great. Knocked off some pages for the one I am writing with my brother in law….I got to do the scene with the US President when he was singing “Prostitution of the Constitution”, I moved on as he asked for anyone to sing “Impeachment Blues” with him…I enjoyed that scene :) Yes, there was a Banjo, but no other words containing both B & J were included in that scene. That's what the finale is for.

Went on to my feature and have started jumping from scene to scene rather than going linear. It is working really well for me and have added a number of pages. I can still see this bastard blowing out to 140 pages though……then machete time.

Sorry, little rant here…I am f*&^%$g sick of websites that cannot get the bloody basics correct. I am talking about simplicity…..username, tab, password, tab, enter/submit/whateverthef%$k key to then hit, enter.

I am generally smart enough to not need to get a password reminder EVERY fuckin time I login, if people do need that type of help……BAN THEIR IP, THEY SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED ON THE INTERNET.

Keep them in parliament where they belong.

Another peeve is that when you tab, it takes you to god knows where on the page….I am not talking about Uncle Erics Easy Euthanasia website, I am talking about some huge –made billions and have retired to raise virgins -- motherf*&^%r sites around the place. Use your f*&^%n brains, put the nerf football in the draw and think about your web design before you knock off after half an hour of work and hit the café latte bench press machine. Sorry for the swearing but it has been really p*&^%$g me off lately.

Okay, Todd(Moviequill) hit me with a tag(last time I help you with any bank questions buddy :) ) regarding 5 things you don’t know about me. I am assuming they should be mildly interesting. No promises though.

Hmmmmmm……. five……if I have mentioned any of these before, I plead the fifth, since I am not living under your constitution, take that as a fifth of bourbon.

1. I have been happily married for over 10 years. You’ll have to check with the wife to see if she has been.

2. I was the U16 Karate champion for my state. Sounds better than I got knocked out in the first round at the Nationals.

3. I once took a job that kept me in Alice Springs for two years, I had 30 minutes to make that decision. Yes, you can fuck up when rushed.

4. I did not get drunk until I was over 18. I will sober up when I am over 70.

5. I was voted President of my college in my first year there. I had only recently turned 18. My biggest achievement for that college, which was an Australian version of Animal House, was starting 20 boat races in a row with my own skull….yes, falling down face first not only became on option, but inevitable, gravity and alcohol don’t mix well Fact: It takes 5 guys to carry you up three flights of stairs, the fifth is to hold your head up so you don’t bang them on the stairs. He is also helpful in opening any doors. Just a heads up. Yes, I have settled down. I now only start my daughters orange juice boat races with straight shots of Ribena.

Well you wanted 5 things about me, so you got five I's.

I wanted to mention a bit of fun I had for Valentines. Got the idea whilst on the road. For my wife's present I went a bought a pillow slip (girls, don’t throw things at the screen just yet), went home and did some internet surfing and photoshoppy type things. Went to printing place in shopping centre that puts photos and stuff on anything. Valentine’s comes around, get wife to sit on the bed with eyes closed.

Open them.

In front of her is said pillowcase with a photo of me with a caption below:

“For when you are lonely” because I travel a lot…cute bugger aren't I....

She gave the aaah look, you know the one where she is thinking, crap, is this all…..

I then said flip it over…..

On the back…picture of George Clooney with a caption:

“For when you are bored”.

Tears, howls of laughter….it worked, best present I have ever come up with. Girls at work seemed think it was a bit of a winner as well. So there you go, latest installment, you can now resume plucking the eyebrows of your dog/cat/antelope.

Cheers
Dave.

PS I am not tagging anyone else, you are safe. You know who you are!