Query Letters from Hell
This website is fun to read http://queryletters.blogspot.com/ but the latest one made me stop for a second or two.
Yes, the explanation is all over the place, but that logline catches my interest, totally. It is not a classic logline in that it does not follow the convention of having the name, etc etc in it, but if this guy does nothing else, he has come up with his poster line.
Fair suck of the sav, good luck to him, if he can make some more sense in his query letter, and reduce (hell, destroy and start again) it so it has the interest of the logline, he might do okay.