I want to write and tell stories.

Monday, February 27, 2006

Seperated at birth.......?


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If they had a catfight it would look like they were wrestling a mirror.


Friday, February 24, 2006


We have all seen the ads, but I think there is something missing, they are not really working. They just don't seem to be getting through, so I thought of another angle they might want to try.....see what you think.
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I thought it was catchy, and would have a good chance of stopping the Christian Piracy conspiracy (those Stacey Orico DVD's would be smoking from all the burning).

This has been another public service announcement.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Contract Example

Got this from Industry Whore's comments on latest post. Great example of a contract you could use for sale of screenplay. I think most producers would see this as reasonable.

Example Contract

Don't say I don't try and help.

Interesting side effect of Screenwriting….

I have noticed a nice little side effect of screenwriting……my correspondence/report writing/proposal writing is improving. Now, you might think that any form of extra writing would assist in business writing, and learning how to write screenplays is no different, but I would disagree. Why?

In screenplays you try and give the reader the most information, with the minimum amount of words. Hopefully, those words are also interesting and make sense as well. This is exactly what you want to do in business writing, as you need to get your information across in the most efficient manner, as you don’t want to waste their time. Time is money, so if you can get your message across in one paragraph, as opposed to 2-3, fantastic. Job well done, and you save time as well.

Anyone else found this?

I may never sell a screenplay, I am extremely realistic about that, but as the title of my blog explains, I want to write, it is not titled “I want to write and sell screenplays”. :) I have found a writing medium that suits me, and I enjoy immensely, so I am very happy. I enjoy the process. If something comes of it, I would be ecstatic. I would love to write as a living, as I’m sure all of us in the Scribosphere would. Am I concerned about never selling one, no. Why, because I have a job that provides for my family, which is infinitely more important to me at this stage of my life, than following my muse, sleeping with my muse, or doing anything kinky with my muse. :) I take my responsibility as a father seriously, and if I was young and single (or even in a relationship, but no kids), it would be a totally different matter. I can’t ask my kids to do without, so I can go off chasing dreams. Others may, I can’t. By the way, no judgment on anyone else, that is just me. Also, don’t take this that I don’t sit here sometimes saying “this job sucks”. Do I have respect for people who are following their dreams, absolutely, more power to them, and I hope they make it, I seriously do. I wish them all the best.

Don’t take this lack of concern for not selling, as lack of motivation or drive to become a better writer and eventually sold. I am learning more, each time I sit down to write, which is more often than I may imply here on this blog. I have learnt so much in the last year or so reading all these blogs, for which I am always extremely grateful. My job does allow me a degree of security, and allows me to relax a bit when writing, and I think reduces some of the frustration you experience as a writer.

The start to this year has been hectic. My wife and I took another pass at buying that restaurant, came damn close, but the due diligence came up with some whoppers that would have put us in the position of gambling large amounts of money (against our house, and personally guaranteed) on dodgy equipment. I know how often kitchen equipment breaks down, so we pulled out. Also, the current owner was slow in producing figures and information we required, and I caught him out on a few porky pies as well.

I did not write about this at the time, as well, I was busy. :) Working long hours as normal, and forming companies, meeting with solicitors, accountants, doing business plans, creating menus, marketing plans, etc., etc. On top of that, I made sure I was still spending time with my kids, as they mean the world to me, this did however, result in quite a few late nights! In between all of this, I still managed to punch out about 60 pages of a script I am working on. Not sure when exactly, but they were written. Hey, I’m not saying it was any good, but I still managed to churn the pages, and as I said above, enjoyed it immensely, and learnt something with each page produced.

Another little project I did was to contact Dylan at the Canadian university about the short they want to produce, which Warren mentioned on his site, the Screenwriting Life, a couple of weeks ago. An idea that I quite liked had popped into my head a couple of weeks previously, so I sent off the idea, and luckily Dylan agreed, and wanted to see more, so I whipped up about 12 pages, couple of rewrites also, but alas, was not the chosen one. The force must be weak in me. :) Name of short, “Housewife wants Hitman, must have own gun”. I blame Richard at Scriptweaver for getting me thinking about hitmen :) It was fun to try, as even though I may not be ready (or ever) to be produced, it is getting me used to rejection early. I thought I had enough experience from my single days but apparently not. :) I sincerely hope that Dylan and his crew do well as he seems like a nice bloke all round.

I have been playing with another screenplay, my big action sci-fi one, Fourth Spectrum Warrior is the title I am going with, working title till a month or so ago was Desktop Soldier, but I like the latest incarnation more. The plot has really been done before (which one hasn’t) but I think I have some original ideas for it overall. I am sure when it is finished, I will be begging some of you to read it and provide notes in the future. Be gentle!

So, there you go, a bit of an update on what I have been doing. Oh, and I bought my first ever laptop (have used the company one up until now), I am still on the darkside, windows, not mac, so feel free to flame me J Nice little 15.4” widescreen, 1Gb Ram, x600 128mb ATI vid card, 80gb SATA HDD, and it has a little DVD remote that resides in the PCMCI slot for safekeeping….very cool and handy! Also has 5.1 surround. I am a very happy camper, lots more space on the desk now. Lee Goldberg was asking people to put up photos of their writing area. I am going to do that in the next few weeks, when I finally buy a digital camera and come into the 21st century.

I don’t write much about writing, as I learn more by doing, and asking questions where I can, and of course, reading as much as I can. However, there is one thing I can say from my experience in my role in Sales, and this relates to queries, both on the phone, and by letter, or email. Okay, so you get to the stage where you are going to send them out, don’t worry too much, seriously, the worst they can say is NO, they might be a bit condescending, they may even be slightly rude (not often from what I am reading) but that is it. They wont call you a talentless hack, (well not to your face probably)….so, again, don’t worry too much. I get “no” quite often in this role, so maybe I am used to it, but they definitely aren’t going to track you down and slaughter your first born, or key your car, so again, don’t worry or fret too much, just do it, and if it doesn’t work, re-evaluate, and move on, and try again. That’s about the only advice I can give you, that I feel slightly qualified to provide.

Have fun, may the writing gods be sitting on your shoulders, and back to more fun posts shortly, this post has been far too serious, and far too long for my liking.....brrrrrrrrrrrr.


PS weird thing is, I wrote this prior to Fun Joel’s latest post. FJ, I hope you can find something that allows you that bit of financial freedom or the security that you are looking for. You deserve it for what you give to the Scribosphere.

PPS Does anyone else have trouble with blogger not remembering you as signed in even though you tick the little box?? I know my cookie setting is okay, I just can’t figure it out.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Oh Crap......

So, my little girl is growing up, she is 6 going on 27. When I make it home from work on time, we’ll read a book(mostly), sometimes play a game(it was teacher the other night, and boy is she tough, mind you I was the joker in the class, the dog and the horse next to me were real teachers pets). She is a girlie girl, Barbie, horses, pink, purple, my testosterone level drops, just walking into her room.

Anyway, last night, she wanted to play a computer game, no worries, she doesn’t play them all the time and she has a few of her own. So Dad’s told to sit on the sofa and watch her play Spirit, which she has not played in some time. She was a having a little trouble chasing the rabbit to get a carrot, so she can gallop faster. There’s always another carrot to get, isn’t there?

So, whilst she is wrestling the controls(Dad's help was not wanted) Dad is thinking about some stuff to do that night, whilst comfortably reclined on the sofa. Thoughts of sugarplums and beers dancing in my head.

Daughter: Oh craps…..

Dad: huh? Sweetie, did you learn that word at school?

Daughter: Which one?

Dad: Crap

Daughter: Yes…

Dad: Well sweetie we don’t use those words, they aren’t very nice.(I don’t swear in front of my children, which is hard sometimes being a father, having testicles which tend to get jumped on)

Daughter: Okay.

Did not want to go hard on her, as I had done something similar as a kid, when I had no idea of the meaning of the word. I said shit…..and soap does tend to taste like that.

A few minutes later.

Daughter: Oh craps…….

Dad: (more serious) Samara……what did I tell you?

Daughter: Sorry….

Dad: Don’t use it again, or the game is off straight away.

Daughter: Sorry Dad.

And she was good, and it was all I could do not to burst out laughing. She actually used the plural which made it funnier. She is a sweet girlie girl in her nightie carrying on like the proverbial fish wife.

Ahhh, what are the teenage years going to bring?


Friday, February 10, 2006

Someone is having a birthday.....

Go here and wish him happy birthday. Don't know exact date (I tried threatening to send George Bush around to do a banjo solo, but, he had bolted to Perth to celebrate), it is around this time though.

Happy Birthday Xander!


It seemed like a good idea at the time boss.........

I love it…..I truly do……
Let me guess……all these assistants were really called Scooter…..

Capitol Hill caught wiki-cheating
From news.com.au
February 10, 2006

US Senators' staffers have been caught editing their bosses' entries on the free online encyclopedia Wikipedia, according to an investigation by news website Wikinews.

Reporters from Wikinews collected a series of IP addresses which were the source of the edits, and with the help of people who emailed Senate offices and collected the IPs they received in replies, were able to match individul addresses to computers in a brace of Senator's offices. IP ( Internet Protocol) addresses are the unique numbers used to communicate between individual computers.

Wikinews investigation uncovered more than 1000 changes to the Senator's pages, with many edits fairly minor changes to Senator's pages.

Other changes were more significant: Democrat Senator Joe Biden's entry had details of a 1996 plagiarism scandal erased, and his intention to run for President in 2008 backdated to mid-2005.

Republican Senator Conrad Burns use of the word 'raghead' was erased from his entry.
Democrat Senator Dianne Feinstein's staff removed an entry about her support for dropping trade sanctions against China, at a time when her husband was heavily investing in China.
An intern for Democrat Martin Meehan altered his profile to remove a promise he had once made to limit his term in office to four years. The senator is currently serving his 7th term in office.

Some edits were on the level of student pranks, with one senator's age changed to 180, and another's entry edited to read that he was voted "was voted the most annoying senator by his peers in Congress."

Wikipedia has temporarily blocked access to its pages from Capitol Hill IP addresses
More detailed analysis from bloggers on the BoingBoing site suggested that some of the culprits were naive enough to believe they could get away with their edits, considering that edits were traced through to an IP address identified as 'housegate10.house.gov', which blogger Andrew Gray described as "a proxy through which huge chunks of the House's traffic passes".

"My understanding is that Senator Meehan got identified because someone guessed it was his office - the edits to his page were pretty clear whitewashing - and they owned up when challenged; any other congressman would be much trickier to pick out", wrote Gray.

Other bloggers are less concerned about the issue, with Gleeful Gecko writing: "Of course politicians and celebrities are going to edit their entries, they have massive egos how could they be expected to reisist?


Just read where Judi Dench was refused an appearance on Today, Good Morning America and one other show, because she did not fit their demographics. Very sad. Harvey Weinstein was quoted in the article, so I don't think he would have much cause to annoy these shows unnecessarily, but could be wrong.

The next one I read was Francis Ford Coppola comparing making good movies to making a fine wine. He said with fine wine you start with the grapes, for movies, you start with the work you do with the actors. Call me crazy, but I would have thought the script was the foundation. :) What do I know? Does that mean the script is the manure maybe? :)


Just Ethan

Will this film be the greatest thing since that masterpiece "Just Jack" on Will & Grace? Only time will tell. Bet Uma is cringing, and happy :) There is no bias here either, my son is called Ethan.

Clever kid, figured out at 12 months old, how to annoy the hell out of his 5 year old sister, and send her running and crying to her room. Proud of you son! :) Banjo's can twang now.

Is it just me or is Uma getting better looking with age? Hers, not mine, yes, my eyesight has deteriorated in the last few years but not that bad, back in your box. Maybe it is motherhood, don't know, just did not see what everyone raved about when she was younger.

Some funny news here in Oz, Eddie McGuire has been announced as head of Channel 9. Think equivalent of NBC, CBS, etc, network. Big. Kerry Packer, who just passed away, owned it, you may have heard of him, runs in same circles as our mate Murdoch. Why is that funny you ask? Well over here he hosts Who Wants to be a Millionaire. So, it is nearly the same as Regis being put in charge.

The lunatics are now running the asylum.


The Greatest Love Story of All continues....

Be still my beating heart.

Maybe these girls can offer their opinion on this recent turn of events.


Ken gets a makeover, hopes to win back Barbie
From: Reuters
From correspondents in New YorkFebruary 10, 2006

Ken and Barbie ... together again?

HE'S been to the gym, looks buff and stylish, and now Barbie's boy toy Ken wants to win back the doll he split from two years ago.After a two-year separation, Mattel said that Barbie's long-time suitor wants to rekindle his decades-long romance with his plastic paramour.

Mattel is hoping Ken's return to retail stores can also revitalise the company's overall fortunes. In January, the company blamed sagging Barbie sales for sagging profits.

"Ken has revamped his life - mind, body and soul," Hollywood stylist and Mattel consultant Phillip Bloch said in a statement. "Everyone knows how difficult it is to change, especially when you've lived your life a certain way for more than four decades."

Mattel said in February 2004 that Barbie and Ken had split after 43 years because they wanted to spend some time apart.

Ken, who appears to have spent time in the gym and at the stylist, returns wearing a beach-wear ensemble complete with board shorts and white T-shirt.

For her part, Barbie publicist Lauren Dougherty said Barbie "appreciates the new look Ken is sporting. He really looks great. But we'll have to stay tuned to see whether these two will get back together."

At a press conference unveiling Ken, Mr Bloch said the company was going for a "worldly, European thing", and "definitely wanted to be looking hot".

Mattel's fourth-quarter results in January showed an 18 per cent decline in Barbie's US sales. The company said that in addition to "tweaking" the Barbie line this year, more dramatic changes would be made in 2007.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

If you're dumb, good looking and drink too much, have I got the country for you!

Yes, right here in Oz!
It is stories like these that swell my heart with national pride. It really boils down to the fact Aussie men totally agree with equality. If both drink enough, then both are too drunk to make any sort of rational decision. See equality.
(going home to pour the wife a drink)
Minds don't matter to our boozy daters
By Jade Bilowol
February 08, 2006

AUSTRALIANS are among the world's booziest daters and the least likely to say intelligence turns them on, an international survey has found.

Eighty per cent of Australian men and 70 per cent of women admitted to drinking too much to try to impress potential partners, according to the annual Romance Report by publisher Harlequin.

The survey of 1500 men and women on the dating scene in 16 countries was released in the lead up to Valentine's Day.

It also found that Aussies, 100 of whom were included in the survey, were the least likely to nominate intelligence as their top turn-on. (which 100 did they select? I mean did they use the NRL or AFL teams or something??)

No Aussie men and only 10 per cent of their female counterparts thought intelligence was more important than physical appearance, a sense of humour and confidence.

Romance Report's Margaret Lawson said Australia emerged as the nation with the booziest daters, just ahead of Britain.

A sense of humour was more appealing to Australians than financial status - a trend reflected worldwide.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Who's a Happy Chappy?

Highlight of weekend.....finding first two seasons of Scrubs on sale for $32.95 each (no-one up here had them, was going to mail-order them).....best part was when they got scanned and came up as $16.95 each.......I love hungover retail staff:)

Settling in for some Scrubbing good times.

Freedom of Speech and all that.......

Don't care......this is funny.......the others, whatever, but I liked this one. :)

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A sense of humour is never a high priority for fanaticals is it?

Maybe we could find a way to put a sense of humour in the water supply, or maybe a little acceptance?



It just seems like yesterday, it was just a jumble of 26 letters...they grow up so quickly nowadays...


English to welcome one-millionth word
The Sunday TimesFebruary 06, 2006

CHAMPIONS of the English language are about to mark a momentous point in its 1500-year history: the creation of its millionth word.The growing use of Chinglish (Chinese-English) and dozens of other ethnic hybrids has pushed the number of words in the language to 986,120, says Paul Payack, a Harvard-educated linguist monitoring its growth.

Chinglish terms include "drinktea", meaning closed, derived from the Mandarin Chinese for resting; and its opposite, "torunbusiness", meaning open, from the Mandarin word for operating.
While some are amusing, others are abrasive. Disabled people's toilets in Beijing are marked "deformedman" and in Hong Kong a "kweerboy" is a homosexual.

Mr Payack, who works for Global Language Monitor, a San Diego-based consultancy, said 20,000 new English words were registered on the company's databases last year - twice as many as a few years ago. About 20 were in Chinglish.

According to Mr Payack, the millionth word is likely to be formed by mid-year, confirming the domination of English in the global linguistic order.

French, which was the language of diplomacy in the 19th century but went into decline in the 20th, is said to contain just 100,000 words.

"Global English is no longer just dominated by either British English or American, but is running free and developing uniquely regional forms," said Mr Payack.

Chinglish and up to 60 cousins such as Spanglish, Japlish, and Hinglish (Hindi-English) owe their rise largely to the internet. Thanks to its influence, a language that evolved in Anglo-Saxon England now reaches billions of homes in the developing world, where it is transformed for local taste while remaining recognisably English.

Mr Payack's databases are compiled by computers searching sources such as newspapers, television programs and internet blogs.

He claims to have identified a "tipping point" in 1994, when the trickle of new English words became a flood. Mosaic, the first user-friendly web browser, was invented about the same time.
English has triumphed because it is open to change, Mr Payack said. French is less so: its purity is guarded by the Academie Francaise.

David Crystal, the author of the Cambridge Encyclopedia of the English Language, said the statistics spoke for themselves. "In the 1960s, 250 million people spoke English, but now it's closer to two billion, or one in three people in the world," Professor Crystal said.

"But there is debate about where it goes from here. Does it splinter into a loosely connected family of English languages, that become mutually incomprehensible again, like old Latin, or do we develop a standard global English that can be understood by all? We don't know what will happen."
From The Sunday Times

Only in Australia...wait damnit, that's supposed to be America....what the hell? We have moron's as well? Bugger!

The post below explains it all. I cannot ad anything to it.

Out of the closet
By Ben SharkeyFebruary 06, 2006

WANTING to dress up as a wardrobe to watch The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe seemed like a reasonable request for one avid fan.After writing to Greater Union, Hoyts and the Dendy cinemas in January, asking for permission to sit in a theatre in his obstructive outfit, Milton Soskin did not receive a serious reply.

In his letter, the 25-year-old said he understood his 3mx4.5m costume might cause a problem for other viewers but he required a seat "in the middle, close to the front".

"Even though I will be sitting in your cinema dressed like a bedroom ornament, I promise not to draw any unwitting attention to myself," he wrote.

"I will not talk during the film ... my mobile phone will most definitely be turned off ... In short I will be the perfect cinema patron. It's just that I will be wearing a wardrobe."

Mr Soskin said yesterday: "I never heard back from Hoyts. The Dendy told me they weren't screening it but if I wanted to come out of the closet I could come and watch Brokeback Mountain."

When The Daily Telegraph contacted the Greater Union Megaplex in the Macquarie Centre, North Ryde, a spokesman said he could watch a screening yesterday dressed in his outfit made of plywood, gaffer tape and IKEA door handles free of charge.

But Mr Soskin had to go by himself.
"My friends said they wouldn't be in it. They were pretty emphatic," he said.
"I chose the wardrobe because ... when you first see it there is a real sense of wonder about what is on the other side."
Link below in case you want to actually see his costume. This proves there are people with too much time on their hands, and way too many drugs in this world.



Thursday, February 02, 2006

Aussies VS Kiwis

If you don't know, Aussies and Kiwis love to put shit on each other. It is sort of a national past-time, similar to US VS Canada but substitue Rugby for Ice Hockey.

Here is a good example of why we love to put crap on the Kiwis.....true story.

Guy I work with is Kiwi, great guy, really enjoy his company.

Yesterday he told me about when he was younger, he was at beach party in NZ, he was tired and went for a quick kip.

He woke up from a noise, and sat up, saw this glowing thing hurtling towards him.

It was a petrol can that was on fire. They had stoked up the fire with the petrol, the fire had raced back up the flow of petrol and the can had caught fire, so being Kiwi's they decided to play soccer with it.

Hence the glowing thing hurtling towards said Kiwi co-worker.

It hits him in face, and his face is on fire(quick cut: it ended up okay, he was not scarred for life luckily, skin grew back well in a few weeks).

What do you do when something is on fire?

You put it out.


You could take off your shirt and smother it.
You could throw sand on it..
You could throw water on it, not great with petrol, but might be okay..


You can stamp on it.

Unless it is a person's face, of course.

Of course.

Most people wouldn't, unless they are a Kiwi.

That's how they put it out. They stomped on his face. I love Kiwi's.

Mind you, if I ever need medical assistance over there, I hope to hell I am standing up and the person helping can't kick too high.


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